i have not been in the greatest of moods the past couple days...just a few kinks in the road and those kinks stole my optimism. the kinks aren't the important part, but while i was at work--cursing the fact that i was there--a beautiful thing happened and knocked me off my feet. thank you God!!
i was way behind in my closing duties, just trying to get ahead so i could leave on time because i was exhausted and the folks working on the sales floor kept calling me and either asking me questions or giving me more pans to count, etc. one of the calls i was just particularly annoyed for no reason and my co-worker asked if i had gotten her note. i hadn't, so she showed it to me. apparently, a little boy had lost his hot wheels sunglasses and his grandma had called to see if anyone had turned them in because the little boy's mom had just died recently and the last thing she had gotten him before she died were those sunglasses. awww.
so i looked through the lost and found, they were there!!!! so we tried to call the number she left but her voicemail inbox was full...i took them back to the count room with me and said i'd have someone call in the morning. 10 mins later i get another call to come out and the little boy and his grandma were there to pick them up. the little boy was so so so excited...he couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 and you could tell he had been crying...he said "grandma, these are the ones! these are the ones!!!!" i smiled as she thanked us and my heart swelled.
i turned around went back into the count room and cried. (so glad my job is in an enclosed room for times when i breakdown at work! lol) here i was being upset about stupid, insignificant, FIXABLE things...and this little boy had lost his mom-and for a moment the last gift she gave him...that put everything back into perspective for me...i thank God that someone turned in his sunglasses and that i was involved in getting them back to him.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
sucking air...
i don't know what came over me this morning at 2:15am when i decided it would be a good idea to get up at 5:30, a mere 3 hours away, and go for a run....
yep, that's right, i said "go for a run..." let me just tell you when the last time i went for a run was.....yeah, can't even recall!!! so i dragged my exhausted butt to bed and set my 3 alarms. now, it's a saturday morning...who in the world thinks--hey i think i'll go for a run at 5:30am!?!? (crazy people, that's who!) moment of truth--my alarm is going off. no, i decide, i'm too tired...the alarm goes off again and now the dogs are awake and now they want to go outside so i reluctantly drag myself out of the heavenly bed and put them out, successfully try to talk myself out of going on said run and head back to bed, ugh!! NO!! i knew i would hate myself if i didn't go and the plus was that if i went that early no one would see me running and also the glorious fact of the early morning temperatures guaranteed i wouldn't be sopping in sweat...so i get back out of bed, chug half a diet pepsi (yeah, not the greatest idea), put on my shoes and head out the door.
i ran/walked a little over a mile sucking air during the times i ran and realizing how terribly out of shape i am and how much it'd ROCK if i could run the whole time and NOT suck air...so, perhaps i will do this every morning--as much as i HATE getting up early i truly love the serenity of the early morning, watching the sunrise and just basking in God's glory, even if i am covered in sweat.
now as i type, i am chugging a glass of deliciously cold water, trying to ignore the fact that my legs feel like noodles and will most definitely HURT later today and most importantly thanking God for not letting me go back to sleep and miss the time i spent with Him and the sunrise...
now, however, it's time to go back to bed, ha! good morning and good night!
yep, that's right, i said "go for a run..." let me just tell you when the last time i went for a run was.....yeah, can't even recall!!! so i dragged my exhausted butt to bed and set my 3 alarms. now, it's a saturday morning...who in the world thinks--hey i think i'll go for a run at 5:30am!?!? (crazy people, that's who!) moment of truth--my alarm is going off. no, i decide, i'm too tired...the alarm goes off again and now the dogs are awake and now they want to go outside so i reluctantly drag myself out of the heavenly bed and put them out, successfully try to talk myself out of going on said run and head back to bed, ugh!! NO!! i knew i would hate myself if i didn't go and the plus was that if i went that early no one would see me running and also the glorious fact of the early morning temperatures guaranteed i wouldn't be sopping in sweat...so i get back out of bed, chug half a diet pepsi (yeah, not the greatest idea), put on my shoes and head out the door.
i ran/walked a little over a mile sucking air during the times i ran and realizing how terribly out of shape i am and how much it'd ROCK if i could run the whole time and NOT suck air...so, perhaps i will do this every morning--as much as i HATE getting up early i truly love the serenity of the early morning, watching the sunrise and just basking in God's glory, even if i am covered in sweat.
now as i type, i am chugging a glass of deliciously cold water, trying to ignore the fact that my legs feel like noodles and will most definitely HURT later today and most importantly thanking God for not letting me go back to sleep and miss the time i spent with Him and the sunrise...
now, however, it's time to go back to bed, ha! good morning and good night!
Friday, May 22, 2009
just a tad bit anxious...
the other day i realized that it's almost time for me to leave for africa and i kinda let myself freak out a little bit. right now the countdown is at 17 days which seems like a lot of time--but i feel like i still have so much to do and so much to get ready...
so, anxious is the word i use to describe how i've been feeling, that irritating tugging feeling on my heart. okay it's only half irritating. i've also been feeling the good kind of anxious--like i can't wait to be in tanzania/kenya!!
i love the word anxious for it's duality! yeah, i love words and yes, i'm aware that i'm a nerd. so, of course, i had to do a little "research" into the definition by taking a trip to dictionary.com. :) we all know it's basic 2-prong definition: 1: uneasiness because of fear or danger or misfortune, greatly worried...2: earnestly desirous; eager. BUT what i found out about it's origins was most interesting! it comes from the latin anxius (worried, distressed) which is a derivitive of angere--to STRANGLE, pain, or distress.
i'm sure by now you're wondering why i have gotten so excited about the fact that it derives from a verb which means to strangle. my anxiety lately has been strangling God, His power and His ability to work in my life!!! what an idiot i have been. my anxiety mainly stems from the fact that i leave in 17 days and still have about $1000 to raise for this trip to be a possibility! i also have a few bills i need to figure out how to pay while i am gone and have an expensive dental appointment to take care of--and just the normal getting everything together/packing/spending time with those i love, blah blah blah. i have been telling myself that it will all be fine, don't worry about it, nicole. put it all in God's hands and pray, pray, pray... i have been praying but i don't know how faithful i have been in giving it to God and completely giving it to God, thus relinquishing my anxiety. i don't want to strangle or choke God, i want Him to blow me away with His providence, peace, and power. why is it so hard for us to just rest in God's hands? i want to be dependent on God and NOT on myself and what i think i can do!!
right now, as i type, i am relinquishing my anxiety--casting my cares upon Him!!!!!!!! i know this is where God wants me to be and HE will get me there even if it's not clear cut to me, i have to trust Him..fully. He will give me peace!
so i will pray pray pray and trust and NOT be anxious and would ask for you to do the same!!!
so, anxious is the word i use to describe how i've been feeling, that irritating tugging feeling on my heart. okay it's only half irritating. i've also been feeling the good kind of anxious--like i can't wait to be in tanzania/kenya!!
i love the word anxious for it's duality! yeah, i love words and yes, i'm aware that i'm a nerd. so, of course, i had to do a little "research" into the definition by taking a trip to dictionary.com. :) we all know it's basic 2-prong definition: 1: uneasiness because of fear or danger or misfortune, greatly worried...2: earnestly desirous; eager. BUT what i found out about it's origins was most interesting! it comes from the latin anxius (worried, distressed) which is a derivitive of angere--to STRANGLE, pain, or distress.
i'm sure by now you're wondering why i have gotten so excited about the fact that it derives from a verb which means to strangle. my anxiety lately has been strangling God, His power and His ability to work in my life!!! what an idiot i have been. my anxiety mainly stems from the fact that i leave in 17 days and still have about $1000 to raise for this trip to be a possibility! i also have a few bills i need to figure out how to pay while i am gone and have an expensive dental appointment to take care of--and just the normal getting everything together/packing/spending time with those i love, blah blah blah. i have been telling myself that it will all be fine, don't worry about it, nicole. put it all in God's hands and pray, pray, pray... i have been praying but i don't know how faithful i have been in giving it to God and completely giving it to God, thus relinquishing my anxiety. i don't want to strangle or choke God, i want Him to blow me away with His providence, peace, and power. why is it so hard for us to just rest in God's hands? i want to be dependent on God and NOT on myself and what i think i can do!!
right now, as i type, i am relinquishing my anxiety--casting my cares upon Him!!!!!!!! i know this is where God wants me to be and HE will get me there even if it's not clear cut to me, i have to trust Him..fully. He will give me peace!
so i will pray pray pray and trust and NOT be anxious and would ask for you to do the same!!!
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~philippians 4: 6-7~
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